This is what Israelis eat for breakfast: you take a cucumber and a tomato and chop them into itsy bitsy pieces, such that they can be swallowed without any meaningful intervention of teeth, and douse them with olive oil and lemon juice. Then you plop some cottage cheese on top or something called white cheese which looks and tastes exactly like the technically non-toxic white paste they made you use in kindergarten for your artwork. Coincidently, this is also what many eat for dinner. Just the thought of facing that in the mornings is enough to turn me and, I think most of my fellow Americans, green – and I don’t mean that in a good way.
Luckily, today there is no lack of granola and Count Chocula to keep me from aggravated nausea. But back in the early days of the state, everyone was poor and food was not so easy to come by. You pretty much ate what you could grow, namely cucumbers, tomatoes and eggplants, or what you could coax from a cow. As often happens, necessity has become tradition, hence the centrality of dairy products to the Israeli diet. And since this is Israel, you’re expected to pay through the nose for them. So imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning to the Cottage Cheese Rebellion.
It seems the price of humble “cottage,” as it’s called, has doubled recently – I wouldn’t know because I thought it was way overpriced long before this and refused to buy it – and one righteous guy has had enough. He has organized a boycott on Facebook that has become wildly popular. Now suddenly the media are discovering that we pay twice as much as other countries for all kinds of stuff. It’s looking like the beginnings of a consumer revolution and it’s coming none too soon.
Even the Knesset is getting into the act, responding in true political style with emergency rhetoric. They’re threatening to legislate this, control that, while desperately looking for something more to tax. But even they have not proved totally useless: our Knesset has taken great pains to publish a recipe for making cottage cheese at home. I knew they’d come to the rescue. Now, where did I put my cheesecloth?
7 comments:
One of the things I'm fascinated by is what people eat for breakfast. That sounds awful. I've never trusted cottage cheese. Not one bit.
I know what you mean. The lumps, that liquid -- kind of like oatmeal gone wrong. Sometimes I find myself dreaming of the cardiac special: eggs, sunnyside, sausage and buttered toast. As if I have a standby heart, ready for transplant.
I'm no fan of anything with suspicious lumps - like tapioca.
The perfect breakfast for me starts with scrambled eggs & fried potatoes and ends with a thick piece of french toast. The last time I had that breakfast was last February. *sigh*
You know, I kind of feel like a weird stalker who came out of nowhere to read your blog - it looks like your other followers might be people you actually know?
Yes, I do know the other followers, but I'm so glad to have you here! Otherwise it's a bit like preaching to the choir. Besides, you're funny - and I mean that in the best possible way. I think you'd be welcome anywhere. I have to disagree about tapioca, though. I want to be buried in it.
I can't even remember how I found your blog, but I'm pretty sure it was during the great insomnia of my second pregnancy.
I honestly can't believe you don't have more followers. I think a blog about someone living on a kibbutz in Israel is fascinating and you write really well. You're clever but you don't bash people over the head with it. It's like you find a way to impart wisdom where people don't realize it's happened until they're about ten steps away.
I've considered linking your blog from mine a few times, but my readers ... well, they read me. They're not into quiet wit and subtle wisdom. They want someone who rants bitterly and invents new curses.
Gosh, my head is so swollen I can hardly see the keyboard. Thank you for your kind words. I think my blog is a well-kept secret. I like yours - it's sassy! I'd be honored if you'd link to me. You know your public, of course.
Yes, I'm definitely bloated with sass. I'm also beyond thrilled that you like it!
You have no idea how excited I was to see you on my Facebook "Like" page - just knowing that any idiotic thing I post there could pop up your newsfeed? Hilarious. Actually, I have an update to post right now.
I did add your link to my blog. You're right between Dunce Upon A Time and a link for an Etsy page which sells the cutest handmade monster dolls for kids I've ever seen.
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