I just heard a remarkable piece of information on Fox News: thanks to tasty dressings, salads can have many more calories than a pint of ice cream. I feel vindicated. I have always thought that people in general need more ice cream in their lives and that vegetables are over-rated.
This tidbit takes on new significance thanks to the budget our benighted government has passed putting a 16.5% tax on fruits and vegetables. Aside from the obvious point about what kind of idiots raise taxes in the middle of a recession is the deliberate cruelty of levying a big tax on the staple of the Israeli diet. Have you ever known an Israeli who could get through a morning without the salad of tomatoes and cucumbers chopped into teeny, tiny little pieces?
So I propose that we the beleaguered citizenry eat 16.5 % less vegetables and 16.5 % more ice cream. I apologize to any farmers out there, but these are hard times and stern measures are required. When our government announces its intention to keep spending like drunken sailors, it is our responsibility to take away their cash cards.
Ice cream is key. By eating this we can deny the government its ill-gotten gains while we actually consume fewer calories and I contend, improve the national mood. I mean, who can be glum while chowing down on a big bowl of chocolate chocolate chip?
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