Saturday, October 31, 2009

Season Shock

Nothing is harder than getting out of bed on a cold, rainy day. When the sun is shining in a clear, blue sky and birds are tweeting it’s easy to be optimistic about the day’s prospects. But this oppressive gloom does not inspire confidence.

Israel’s seasons turn on a knife’s edge. You flip from hot, sunny, sandal-wearing summer to miserable winter in the space of 24 hours. It’s a bit extreme and is, I think, the result of celestial bad planning. Seasons should transition gradually, almost imperceptibly, charmingly. Not this press-of-the-button, sink-or-swim method. It’s just not right.

Yes, all the people of Israel are rejoicing at the huge quantity of rain that has fallen in the last two days. All the people, except for me. My question is this: if everyone likes rain so much, why do they run for cover when it starts? I suspect this precipitation infatuation is just so much intellectualization.

It’s human nature to love sun and warmth and blue sky. We find it cheerful. We may know we need water and that is has to rain from the sky, but we’d really prefer it didn’t. It’s how we’re wired. Rain and gloom belong in England and upstate New York. This is the Mediterranean, for heaven’s sake.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Oslo Comedy Central

It’s been a long time since I laughed so hard. The Nobel Committee has awarded the Peace Prize to Barack Obama for – absolutely nothing. In one stroke they have turned a once-venerable political award into vaudevillian slapstick. The Norwegians are such comedians! Who knew?

Usually I stay well away from politics in this space. But I cannot let this pass. A Nobel Prize has been awarded to a man who has not accomplished anything other than getting elected apparently for making a few speeches. And he didn’t even write those. Of course, Obama does know how to read a teleprompter. That’s worthy of an award. Plus he did manage single handedly to stop the peace talks in our part of the world. By loudly demanding that Israel stop building houses in all “settlements” including Jerusalem, something no self-respecting Israeli government would ever submit to, he caused the Palestinian Authority to refuse to negotiate until this demand was met. Nice going, Barack. No wonder they adore you in Oslo.

Who was passed over so that Obama could be rewarded? Only some people who actually risked their lives to do a bit of good in the world. People like Dr. Sima Samar who fought for women’s rights in Afghanistan against the Taliban and who really ought to try to find a way to sue the Nobel Committee for malpractice. It is here that the Norwegian joke falls a little flat.

Still, those wild and crazy Norwegians – who can resist them? The Committee might find itself winning a Tony for Best Performance in a Farce. In any case, I invite speculation on next year’s winner. Paris Hilton? Hugo Chavez? I’ve got it: Homer Simpson!